”No.. that will be the end of your life ‘ no!  no ! no!’  Stuff some men say when they ‘hang out’ with friends!.

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 Quest for Happiness outside Marriage

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It was on a Friday evening , I told my hubby I would like to spend time outside with him. I don’t usually do this so he said ” at your service ”. We decided to go watch a Show on Lagos Island. We sat down among some other people on a round table and at the middle of the Show a young man proposed to his girlfriend. The setting was such that he had informed the host of the Show about his intention. The proposal was not what blew my mind away. What took me unaware was the reactions of the men sitting with us on the table. Hah! I opened my mouth to watch their drama!. 

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 ‘No pls don’t’,’no that will be the end of your life ‘ no!  no ! no!’  Stuff some men say when they ‘hang out’ with friends!. I faced my husband and he was laughing and I asked if he felt the same way.  I didn’t get his response as he appeared to be carried away with the whole argument. There and there it dawn on me that women are in trouble. These are somebody’s husband and when they get back home they will pretend and continue with home assignments. There are marital issues every where and few guys will behave  this way, while many will choose other ways.  Which ever way you choose, if it doesn’t have the resolution to make your marriage desirable,   then it is the choice you have made to remain unhappy. Someone wants to know the causes of the present female unfaithfulness in marriage. He said it is becoming rampant. Guess he was afraid of the our yesterday post on different paternity. I couldn’t really answer him much, but one reason  I gave to him is  ” the quest of happiness ”.

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Most homes are pages of assignments. The one they have to do to avoid  teachers’ rod. Many marriages are just like that! Home works! Fulfilling marital responsibility when your heart is somewhere far away; when your heart is full of hatred for your spouse, or should I say bitterness. Worst of scenario for non players, they fail assignments! Most marriages are just like packaged pizza! You can see the traces of lines on them, just with one little tooth pick, they would fall off. 

In search for the so called ‘ happiness ‘, couples wandered about refusing to take time out to make their home a place of happiness. I often heard ” only you can make yourself happy ” This is so true but has been misunderstood. Only you can decide you want to make your marriage a heaven. Only you can decide to love your spouse regardless of what others think, only you can turn things around .Not your choice to commit adultery will make you happy. Those kind of happiness are temporary.  Many relationships are the way they are because they want to get what is missing in their home out there. If you sit down to think about it, does that venture really worth it at the end of the day? You will find out that you are more miserable than where you were when you started cheating.  If your home isn’t settled, I don’t know how else you  can be happy or find peace. You will just keep wandering around and become a laughing stock. One thing I do say as a counselor is this, yes you know your spouse better, he/she is this and that, but is your piece of headache and there isn’t any better headache out their. Learn to live with it, any move to add to the headache won’t be of any benefit to your finance, your home and most importantly your health .

Those in the business will know what am talking about. 

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